Food Is Evil

The only evil in dieting is cravings. There are some good days which sail by without food appearing in my mind for like every 5 seconds or without me downing tonnes of water to suppress the Appetite(yes she is an animal, a ferocious one at that). As a seasoned foodie and seasonal dieter, I will say without qualms that there is a certain sick chemistry between our psychology and food. This psychology, bred and fed by our upbringing (like how your mum pacified you with food whenever there were hints of discomfort or unease), external influence (meals with friends are sooo satisfying) and culture(upsized, heavily portioned, grease-soaked carb-based calorie-laden meals, every meal), creates a complex unbreakable stronghold forming like a web to entrap us(whenever i say us means me) in moments of weaknesses.

As a simple example, this morning I woke up sleepy and hungry. I went to work after a cup of coffee and some eggs. Such lack of sleep causes a blurry array of unstable emotions and I do not know how to feel. Im not sad and not happy, just unfeeling. Such emptiness I mistake for hunger so i just sat there fighting my emotions or the lack of. As I was struggling, a call came up from the clerk asking if I wanted breakfast since she was out (external influence). Since I was struggling to find substance to fill my emptiness, food appears as a timely and convenient choice.  I succumbed and asked 'what breakfast they sell there?' to which she replied 'fried noodles' (culture) so I said okay one packet, in fucking split second. So before I knew it, I was sitting at the table swallowing fried noodles for breakfast and the worse thing is I felt good or somewhat pacified soon after (upbringing) .

Yesterday, Jaja (college mate, close friend, dieter, retired fatso foodie) and me had small talk over iced-water and 1/4 of a plate of chee cheong fun about Thinspiration and dieting. She said as a matter-of-factly that when we joke about our weight all the time, it becomes a self-deprecation, most times humorously so, which we grow to embrace, that is, the fact that we are fat and comfortable with being fat and selectively link the good things to being fat such as being bubbly, adorable, harmless and cute. She could not have put that in a better way.

That being said, I shall adopt 'food is evil, evil is food' as my daily hourly mantra. Thin is in. Fashion=Emaciation. Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels? Pro-ana is the deal. I blame the world for hating fat people and putting Thin People on the pedestal. If there is one thing ripe for crucifixion, that is us all.

Someone pleasee just slap me with a carrot. Or a cucumber. or anything less than 20kcal.

1 Response to "Food Is Evil"

  1. Jaryn says:

    the excuses we tell the world is no longer relevant, or rather, it has never been relevant- to the skinny-obsessed world. But we give those excuses nonetheless because they have become a thing of convenience and contentedness.

    Like you, i hate that the society (filled with educated, informed & intelligent beings that we are) operates in this selfish way. But i guess my hatred only allows me closer to bigger size clothes. Bottomline is, we have got to be healthy or at least be working towards it. A healthy number on the weighing scale and a healthy mind are the essence to living in our imperfectly unhealthy shallow-minded world. Oh such irony!

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